5 Honest Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s

So here I am, 25, trying to survive my life — when I really shouldn’t feel like this. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a highly sensitive person. I always have been. But at a young age, I learned how to “control” it.

So here are the 5 things I wish I knew in my 20s — before I had to learn them the hard way.

I was the picture-perfect good kid.

I was a good student, I did sports, I studied well. I went to college. I was never really a rule breaker — maybe just quietly, in silence. I was the “we don’t have to worry about her” kid. Yep. And I felt proud of that. I felt good about it. Until one day I realized that was never actually my goal. I never wanted to be the perfect kid. I never wanted to be the perfect student. I never wanted to be the perfect girlfriend or friend. I did make mistakes, I did stupid things — but I always owned them. I did everything as a kid that the big textbook said to do. And now I feel like I don’t know what I’m going to do next. And that’s hard for me.

I always thought I knew what I wanted. Turns out, I was wrong — because life made me think that, social media made me think that. Until a few years back, when I started my master’s, started working full time, and realized I actually don’t know what I really want. And you know what? That’s completely fine with me now. But if you’d told me this a few years ago, I would’ve felt ashamed of it.

So if you’re in the same shoes, or feeling the same way, here are 5 things to think through.

1. You don’t have to know everything.

Yes, you should be educated, you should have a sense of politics, of the basics of life, of mental health, and of almost everything. But you don’t have to have the answers immediately. You’re allowed to learn as you go. And that’s completely okay — not having the answer for certain things doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you. Life is about learning, trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone. This is one of the things I wish I knew in my 20s sooner rather than later.

You don’t know if you ever want kids? – That’s okay.
You don’t know which career path you want? – Fine — you’ll figure it out.
You don’t know what your life is going to look like next year? – Be real about that, but it’s not a problem either.

Every step you take in your 20s is about who you are, where you want to be, who you want to be with. And I know social media is going to put “how I became a millionaire at age 23” or “how I’m in a leadership position at 25” right in your face. And you know what — good for them. But you know why it doesn’t matter? Because everyone’s journey is different, and every person’s path is their own.

As the saying goes: someone became a mother at 25. Someone got their dream job at 25. Someone traveled around the world at 25. Someone got married at 25 — someone else is still single at 35. And that’s okay.

2. You have the right to change your mind about absolutely everything.

This is one of the things I wish I knew in my 20s sooner — that changing your mind isn’t failure, it’s just being human.

You thought you were going to build a career in a specific field, but along the way you realized it’s not for you? – That’s fine.

You thought you’d be married with 2 kids and everything figured out by 25? (Maybe that one’s a little personal, lol.) – It’s okay if you’re not where you thought you’d be — especially when the dream you had as a kid doesn’t match the one you have now.

It’s okay to doubt yourself, to change your opinions or your path. We’re all human, all living this for the first time, all figuring it out. But if you want one piece of advice: be thoughtful, and be responsible, because life can slap you pretty hard. So think things through first, and take your time with it. Sometimes feelings are temporary — don’t decide too soon. Give yourself a clear head before you do.

3. Money matters more than you think.

This might be one of the things I wish I knew in my 20s the most — nobody really prepares you for how expensive adult life is. Suddenly you’re paying for everything:

• Food
• Transport
• Education
• Rent, and so on

Plus all the random things you want, and don’t even realize add up. Learning how to budget, save, and manage your money is one of the smartest things you can do for yourself — and we genuinely don’t talk about it enough.

4. You don’t have to pretend your life is perfect.

Social media, again, hehe. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to prove that you’re successful, that you have your life together, or that you’re in the perfect relationship. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. Show yourself some kindness and respect. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and don’t rush things. Everything happens when it’s meant to.

5. Not every person in your life is going to stay.

Your people are going to change, and disappear, and so are you. Sometimes it’s not personal or anything — you just grow apart, and that’s okay too. On the other hand, not everyone has to be your friend. Your coworkers don’t have to be your friends, and you don’t have to pretend they are.

Heartbreak doesn’t last forever. If you don’t want to be with someone, or they don’t want to be with you — please believe me, it’s not going to be your last person. You’ll be okay, because you were doing just fine before them, too.

Honestly, this might be the hardest of the things I wish I knew in my 20s: that losing people doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

But who am I to say any of this?

Yep, I’m in the middle of my 20s — so why am I the one giving advice and all that? I know. That’s exactly why I’m saying these things now, because it would’ve been nice to hear them sooner.

And honestly, I’m the perfect example. I have two degrees. I thought I had my life figured out. I thought I was with the person who was going to be my last, forever. I thought I knew what I wanted. I wanted to live in the countryside, in a warm house. I wanted a career built on my economics degree. I had the perfect plan — I did everything the textbook said.

But I lost people. I lost interest. I got confused. Honestly, I lost my spark for a bit. Until I realized that’s totally fine. You’re going to make mistakes and learn along the way. The most important thing is that you can always do better, or move on. And I’m proof of that.

I thought I was going to be a countryside girl. Now I live in Dubai.
I thought I knew what career I wanted. Now I’m still shaping it.
I thought I had the perfect person for me. Turns out, no — but I have the most wonderful relationship now.

But if there’s one thing I wanted this post to be, it’s an honest list of the things I wish I knew in my 20s — not a lecture, just company.

And if none of those things had happened to me, I never would’ve ended up here.

So let me leave you with one of my favorite thoughts — something I come back to often:

If you missed the bus, maybe you avoided the accident. If you got rejected, maybe you were saved from the wrong place. If they left, maybe they made room for something coming.

The universe protects you in ways that look like bad luck at first — the job you didn’t get, the person who walked away, the plan that fell apart at the last second. You called it misfortune. You questioned everything. Everything kept going wrong, or so it felt.

But maybe nothing was going wrong. Maybe it was protection you couldn’t see yet. When you start seeing it that way, everything shifts.

Not everything that feels like loss is actually a loss. Sometimes what hurts most is quietly saving you from something worse.

So maybe the detour, the thing you’re grieving, is the thing that saves you. The rejection might be redirection. The ending might be a beginning in disguise.

You just haven’t seen it yet. But one day, you will.

These are the 5 things I wish I knew in my 20s — not because I have it all figured out now, but because I’m still figuring it out, just with a little more peace about it.

And if you needed permission to let go of something else entirely — here are the 5 books I gave up on and don’t regret.

For the curious minds

No timeline, no pressure, just growing.

– D